Today's Reading

INTRODUCTION

It's five in the morning, and I've arrived at a Starbucks near my house. I come here often because it's a great place to write without distraction. It's a drive-thru location, so most of the other customers will stay outside in their cars, and I'll have the inside practically to myself.

I like that. For me, early mornings are a time to enjoy the quiet. It's when I build up my energy for the day. It was dark as I drove here, and there's not much traffic yet.

I exchange a few words with the cashier as she takes my order. She smiles as she talks—it's a brief, warm, human connection. Behind the counter it is busy and noisy even at this early hour. The baristas are moving at 1.25 speed to provide customers with their caffeinated jolts for the day. Utensils are clacking, steam is hissing, and the chatter is constant.

I take my coffee back to my usual table by the window where I can watch the world wake up. It's much quieter in the sitting area. I watch the sun yawning its way over the horizon, and I savor a world that's not in a hurry. I know the day will be filled with meetings and conversations and productivity and challenges, but I can handle that well if I start my day slowly. It feels like I've stopped at an emotional gas station and topped off my tank to prepare for the day.

Before long they turn the music on (rap at the moment), disturbing the quiet and threatening my solitude. I came prepared for the music, and as I do each day, I pull out my secret weapon to help me retreat into focused silence: my noise-canceling headphones.

I always figured these were invented by an introvert who worked best in a quiet environment, but it turns out they were created by a sound engineer on an international flight back in 1978. The flight attendants gave passengers simple headphones to listen to music, but the cabin noise was loud enough to block most of the tunes. So this engineer used his drink napkin to scribble out his ideas on how to eliminate background noise, which led to the noise-canceling technology we use today. His name was Dr. Amar Bose. He couldn't make the airplane quieter, so he found a way to keep the noise out and focus on what he wanted to hear.

Or think about scuba gear. If we want to see things deep in the ocean, we can't survive without it. Sure, it would just be easier if we could become fish—but that's not going to happen. That's what being an introvert working in a world of extrovert expectations can feel like. People assume we should just become extroverts and fit in, but that's as realistic as growing fins and gills. Instead, we accept the reality of the situation and find creative ways to function in that foreign environment.

We're not fish, and we're not extroverts.

We're introverts—and we have everything we need to negotiate the world of work with stellar results. Our job is to step up and become the best version of ourselves, and in this book, you'll learn how!


WHERE IT ALL STARTED

"Nothing will ever become of your son," I heard my kindergarten teacher tell my parents. "He's too shy."

I don't have a lot of early memories of school, but that one stuck. I was a little surprised that she said it while I was standing there, as if I was too young to notice. I'm sure the conversation continued, but I don't remember hearing it. All I recall is my five-year-old's interpretation of what I heard:

* If you're going to succeed in life, you can't be shy.

* I wasn't sure what "shy" meant, but it didn't sound good. It implied that there was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed.

* It couldn't be fixed. It sounded permanent.

* It sounded like a defect that would make my entire life "less than."

Over time, those early words became my identity. I didn't know any better, so I wasn't really suffering; I just figured I wasn't in the same league as other kids. They were the "winners"—outgoing and friendly and warm, hanging out with others who were the same. I would hang out with the "losers"—the quieter kids and the misfits. It wasn't because I was drawn to them but because that's where I felt I belonged.
 
After all, a professional (my teacher) had declared my position, so it must be accurate.
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